


Welcome to the United States of Zombieland

by TheHarbringer



Category: Zombieland
Genre: Humor, Suspense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-06-06
Updated: 2010-09-23
Packaged: 2014-01-21 22:04:45
Rating: T
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,519
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6029675/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2383690/TheHarbringer
Summary: Welcome to Zombieland. Population: Tallahassee, Columbus, Little Rock, and me, Wichita. We thought we were the last humans left, that is until we meet a couple of girls who say there is many more. Rated T for potty mouths. CHAPTER 3 IS UP!





	1. Run, Forest, Run!

This is my first fic.

This fic contains the all the characters from the movie and mainly my two OC's: Saint and Cha-Cha

R&R please!

* * *

**Saint's P.O.V**

**Some large town in Iowa**

"My feet are killing me," muttered Sasha. I looked down at her.

Sasha was about 5 foot tall 14 years old, with shoulder-length curly blonde hair. Her white t-shirt and blue jeans were lightly splattered in blood.

"Don't worry, Cha-Cha," I said, using the nick-name I gave her when she was five. "We're almost to the car."

Making it back to the car was probably the only chance we had of surviving right now. The car was packed with weapons, food, water, and the rest of our team who were sent to gather supplies; while the only weapons we had with us was my shotgun, two pistols with limited ammo, and the baseball bat I gave to Sasha.

We had gotten separated from our team when a huge group of zombies surprise attacked us while we were raiding a convenience store.

All I am hoping for right now is that the team and the car is in the same place that we left them.

I sighed and ran my hand through my long black hair, and winced. I lifted up the collar of my leather jacket and saw blood seeping down my shirt.

A damn zombie had thrown me into a pile of crates and a corner of one had put a nice size gash in my left shoulder.

The blood loss was making me slightly light headed and I was regretting the decision to wear my heavy-duty, knee high boots. They were good for kicking in the skulls of the undead, but they sucked when you had to walk or run for miles.

We had just walked around a corner when we heard inhuman snarling from behind us; and a lot of it.

I turned around to see about 35 zombies running toward us.

"Oh, UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!" I yelled as we started running away from them.

Getting attacked by zombies twice in the daylight was bad luck but highly possible; but getting attacked twice in FIVE hours, in the DAYLIGHT, now someone's just screwing with you; especially since these zombies are wicked fast. Luckily, they're dumb.

I half turned, cocked my shotgun, and shot the nearest zombie in the face.

"HEADSHOT!" Sasha yelled as I continued to run. I couldn't help but smile…until the growling and snarling got louder.

I stopped again and pulled the trigger on the nearest zombie.

My heart nearly stopped when all I heard was a soft 'click'.

"SHIT. No, no, no, no! Sasha, RUN!" I yelled back.

I looked up to see them closing in. I quickly flipped the shotgun over, taking a hold of the barrel, and swung at the nearest zombie. Satisfied after hearing the audible crunch of his skull breaking, I turned back around and ran.

"DAMN IT, SASHA!" I yelled. She was standing about 15 feet behind me, baseball bat ready.

"I thought I told you to run," I said, grabbing her hand, half leading, half dragging her with me.

"I am NOT going to let you fight these bastards alone!" she growled as we ran around the side of a building onto another street.

We ran between a couple parked cars, and headed into the street.

"I'm the leader! You're supposed to listen to me!" I pulled out one of my pistols, "It's the rules!"

She scoffed as I unloaded a full cartridge into the heads of several zombies, "Isn't it you who said, 'screw the rules! I'm having too much fun, and you can't stop me'?"

I pressed my lips together and reloaded my gun, "This is not the time to argue."

"Oh, I get it," she said. I could see her folding her arms over her chest as I unloaded more rounds, "Do as I say, not as I do, right?"

I turned around and glared at her, "This is not th-" was all I got out before I saw her eyes flicker behind me and then she let out a blood curdling scream as a zombie tackled me face-first into the ground and partially into Sasha.

I grunted as my head hit the pavement, and there was an explosion of pain in my head.

I could feel the zombie turn me over onto my back, slashing at my leather jacket, trying to get to my neck.

I opened my eyes, I couldn't see anything, and everything was all blurry.

I could hear Sasha screaming, but it sounded distant and muffled.

Suddenly I heard an odd screeching sound and then a bunch of popping noises.

Then I could hear voices, three or four people maybe.

"Ohio, check her, make sure she hasn't been bitten. We'll take care of the rest of these ugly mother fucking bastards!" the voice sounded strong and cocky.

I heard more popping in the background

I could feel someone push aside my jacket, and lightly touch the gash in my shoulder. I heard someone take in a deep breath.

Soon the popping slowed down, and then stopped

I groaned as more pain exploded in my head, "Ch…Cha-Cha?"

"I'm here," she said, she still sounded distant.

"She's got a couple scratches," I could hear a different voice say. It sounded a lot weaker and more hesitant than the first voice, "but she should be okay."

"Okay," it was the first voices again, "let's get her and the other one in the car and head to the house."

The last thing I remember was strong hands moving under my back to pick me up, then another explosion of pain in my head, and then darkness.


	2. SnoBalls & Déjà Vu

**Wichita's P.O.V **

**LeMars, Iowa **

"Slow down!" Little Rock yelled as she was slammed against the car door of the hummer.

Tallahassee was driving at a break-neck speed, trying to find his way back to the place we were staying at.

"Aw, come on. I'm at the perfect speed for killin' those undead bitches!" Tallahassee yelled back at her.

Little Rock rolled her eyes and tightened her seatbelt. "We're gonna end up dead with your driving. And then those '_undead bitches' _" she put up finger air quotes, "will feast on our dead bodies."

I shook my head. We've all been together for almost two years now and we still argued like children.

"Give it a rest, he's not gonna listen," I said, nudging Little Rock

I leaned forward to look at Columbus, who was sitting in the front seat. He was wide-eyed and had the seatbelt in a death grip. "I-I think you should listen to Little Rock."

Tallahassee ignored him. He looked around for more zombies, and spotted a group of four. He sped up. "Hold on!" he said, and slammed on the breaks, and turned the wheel. The hummer spun around, the tail end hitting all four zombies.

After three full turns we came to a stop about ten feet away from the splattered zombie guts.

"WHOOOO!" Tallahassee yelled, "NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!"

Little Rock, Columbus, and I looked at each other, rolling our eyes.

"Yeah," Columbus muttered, "Ye-frickin-haw."

Tallahassee punched him lightly in the shoulder. "Stop complaining. You're still alive, aren't ya?" He laughed and turned the hummer back in the direction we were heading. "Hey, Wichita hand me a Twinkie."

"One sec," I turned around in my seat and rummaged through piles of weapons, duffle bags of clothes, and boxes of food.

"Ho-hoes, Suzie-Q's, Ding-Dongs, Yodels. Hmmm, no Twinkies."

"WHAT?" Tallahassee yelled.

"Yeah, you ate the last one in Cherokee," Little Rock said nonchalantly. 

Tallahassee muttered a long string of curses.

I reached down and grabbed random snack food. I looked at the label and held it up, "You want a Sno-Ball?"

Columbus immediately turned around, eyes wide and shook his head.

"No." Tallahassee growled, "I do NOT-"

"Hey," Little Rock said.

"WANT-"

"Guys?"

"A FUCKING-"

"GUYS!" Little Rock yelled. We all turned to stare at her.

"Look!" She pointed out the window. We looked to where she was pointing in time to see a huge group of zombies chase two girls into the street.

One girl was holding a baseball bat; the other was shooting rounds from a pistol into the horde of zombie. Each shot was a headshot. It was really impressive.

The one with the baseball bat was young, probably the same age as Little Rock. (14)

She had short curly blonde hair, and was in a white t-shirt, blue jeans, tennis shoes, and a dark green hoodie was tied around her waist.

The other one was older, 20-ish maybe. She had long wavy black hair and was in black jeans, a 'My Chemical Romance' tank top, big biker boots, a blood red leather jacket, and she had a sword strapped to her back.

"We have to help them," Little Rock pleaded.

"Yeah, on it," Tallahassee stepped on the gas, and we sped toward them.

We got to them as the older girl was tackled to the ground by one of the zombies. The younger girl started screaming and beating it with her bat. With 3 swings it was dead…well dead-er.

Tallahassee slammed on the breaks, the tires squealed.

We grabbed our guns: Tallahassee with a Heckler & Koch MP7A1 and his '92 Winchester strapped to his right leg, Columbus with his double barrel, Little Rock with her Taurus Model 62C, and I had my ever trustworthy Mossberg 500.

"Nut up or shut up." Tallahassee said with a smirk.

We all got out of the hummer and started firing shots into the horde of undead.

"Ohio!" Tallahassee yelled at Columbus, "check her, make sure she hasn't been bitten. We'll take care of the rest of these ugly mother fucking bastards!"

Columbus nodded and ran over to the girls as we continued filling the zombies full of lead.

It took less than a minute to dispatch the zombies with the three of us shooting. As soon as the last one fell to the ground, we ran over to the others.

The older girl was on the ground, her right wrist rested on her forehead, and her electric green eyes were squinted in pain. Columbus and the blonde girl were kneeling down on either side of her. The blonde didn't seem to be hurt.

I looked at the black haired girl and frowned. A weird feeling of Déjà vu came over me; it was a weird feeling like I've seen her before, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

The black haired girl groaned and grimaced, "Ch…Cha-Cha?"

The blonde, apparently named Cha-Cha, inched closer to her, "Yeah, I'm here, I'm here."

Columbus looked up at us, "She's got a couple of scratches, but she should be okay."

Tallahassee nodded, "Lets get her and the little one in the car and head to the house." He kneeled down to pick her up, but once his hands were under her back she gasped and her eyes rolled into the back of her head.

Tallahassee cursed and stood up with her in his arms. He got a surprised look on his face, "This kid is a frickin' feather."

Cha-Cha nodded and stood up, "Power bars and water are really the only things she eats."

"Apparently," Tallahassee started to head to the hummer, "Come on, lets get out of here before and more fucking zombies show up."

Cha-Cha hesitated, but followed us anyway. Tallahassee put the girl in the backseat, buckled her in, and then got in the drivers seat. Cha-Cha got in next to the girl, I sat next to Cha-Cha, Columbus got in the passenger seat, and Little Rock climbed in the back and sat on a crate of food.

Cha-Cha looked around at us, "So, do you guys mind me asking who you are?" 

"I'm Wichita," I said, "that's Columbus, that's Tallahassee, and that's my little sister Little Rock."

She got a confused look on her face, "I really hope those aren't your real names."

"No," I laughed, "nicknames. They keep us from getting close."

That was true in the beginning when we all met each other, but it wasn't really true anymore. We had become a family. A very dysfunctional family.

Little Rock looked at her, "On that note, do you have any names we can call you guys?"

She thought for a moment, "I guess you can call me 'Cha-Cha'." She looked at the girl next to her. She was still out, and her head was leaning against the window.

"And you can call her 'Saint'."

Another wave of déjà vu came over me.

"'Saint'?" Little Rock asked, "Why that?"

"People usually call her that. I don't know why. It fits her." Cha-Cha said, frowning. "So, where are we going?"

"Merrill City Hall," Columbus turned around, "It's in an abandoned town five minutes from here. It's pretty safe."

Cha-Cha nodded, looked at Saint, and asked softly, "Is she gonna be okay?"

I squeezed her shoulder, "She's gonna be fine."

**Whoo! Chapter 2!**

**Finally re-finished it! **

**Sorry for the wait! **

**Yay for My Chemical Romance**

**All the guns are from the movie, mainly the amusement park scene. I got the actual names from: ****./Zombieland**

**I wanted to put the Tallahassee's ****Benelli in here (IT IS SO BADASS) but the Heckler & Koch was more practical for killing a but-load of zombies. **

**I change it up a bit from the first chapter. **

**Saint now has a sword (I actually wanted to put this in the first chapter, but I forgot)**

**And now this story actually takes place in a real location: LeMars and Merrill Iowa!**

**Wanna know why it's in LeMars and Merrill Iowa? **

**Because I live there. That's why. And the only reason I'm making it here is because I know the layout of the streets and buildings, and that makes it easier to write this. **

**Btw, I had to look up different snack cakes to make the 'Sno-ball' joke.**

**I seriously didn't know what ****Suzie-Q's, Ding-Dongs, and Yodels where.**

***And here is a big block of (more)useless text. **

**My computer is still not fixed D: and probably won't be for a while. So I am going to have to do this off my mom's computer and/or my sister's laptop. Most likely my moms computer cuz my sister is a selfish little harpy bitch from hell. **

**But I will only be able to get to my moms computer when she's at work or asleep. **

**I'm writing this at 12:48 AM, so that means that I will go to bed in about 2-4 hours after posting this, and then going to a bunch of useless websites**

**(, , facebook, and probably more fanfiction) **

**cuz I'm hyped myself up on sugar to finish this. Then that means I want get up till noon or later. My mother gets home at 1 pm tomorrow, this means I wont get the computer until she goes to bed at 9 pm. Then this cycle will go on till Saturday, cuz I have to work on Sunday :/ **

**I am working in a Girl Scout fair booth (that is probably going to be 100 degrees inside) from 10 am to 2:30 pm. Serving food to tired and sweaty fair-goers. Oh joy! *much sarcasm* **

**(And yes I am a Girl Scout. Who is going to be a high school sophomore)**

**Then the cycle starts all over. Though I don't mind being up at 1 am on computer. **

**Thank god its summer!**

**It is now 1:23 am, I am going to post this then go to bed. **

**Good night.**


	3. Coffin in the Hallways

**CHAPTER 3!**

**Saint's P.O.V.**

"_MIA! JAKE! WHERE ARE YOU?" I yelled. I quickly ran through the snow covered forest, following the blood stains in the snow, looking for two people I cared for most in the world: my eight year old sister and 10 year old brother. I clutched my silver revolver in my right hand, tightening my grip as the blood stains got bigger. _

_I saw something laying on the ground in front of me. I sped up and came to a sliding stop. I leaned down and picked it, catching breath as well. I turned it over in my hand. My heart rose to my throat. It was Mia's bear hat. It was fluffy and pink, with white trim and had eyes and ears sewn on. It had two long paw-shaped straps that I would tie under Mia's chin to make sure it doesn't fall off. She had gone into the house to get it right as we were swarmed by a horde of zombies to get it.  
_

_I heard a scream coming from my right. I shoved the hat in my jacket pocket, and took off towards the scream. _

"_MIA! JAKE!" _

"_HELP! NO, MIA!" I could hear Jake screaming bloody murder. _

_I ran faster, my legs feeling like lead weights. No matter how much track I ran in high school, it couldn't prepare me for running that I have been doing the last few months. _

_I emerged into a small clearing, and looked at the horror scene in front of me: multiple mangled dead bodies (at least I hope that they were dead) laying on the ground with zombies feasting on them._

_I heard more screaming, I looked over to my right to see a zombie holding Jake against a large tree. Jake was at least three feet off the ground. The zombie was trying to bite him, but Jake was fighting him off the best he could; pressing his hands against the zombie's shoulder and forehead. _

_I raised my pistol about ready to blow the bastards head off, when I rethought the idea. The zombies head was too close to Jake's; now I was a good shot, but not that good._

"_Jake!" I yelled, he did a double-take. I saw a flash of hope cross over his face as he saw the gun in my hand. He cringed as he used all his strength to push the zombie away, using his legs as extra leverage. _

_I took aim…_

*BANG!*

I shot awake, breathless. A tick worked in my jaw remembering the dream. Though, it wasn't a dream, but a memory. _A horrid memory that I will never forget._

My head started to throb as I realized I didn't know where I was. I looked at my surroundings. The room I was in had white walls with old and newer maps hanging on them, the floor where a light wood color. The wall in front of me had a row of barred windows. I craned my neck to look out of them. It was light out and I was obviously on the second floor of some building. I looked to my left to see a bunch of tables and chairs haphazardly stacked against the wall. I looked to my right to see a chalkboard and big dark colored wooden door next to it. The door was opened a crack.

I was lying on an old plaid couch, with a hard arm chair pillow under my head.

I sat up and grunted as a pain erupted in my shoulder. I turned my head to look at it, and realized I was wearing a plain black shirt, and not my MCR tank top. I sighed and pushed the left side collar of my 'new' aside; the gash that was in my shoulder was stitched up, albeit not that well, but it was healing better than I thought it would.

I was about get up when my foot collided with something. I looked down to see my boots, jacket, belt, two pistols, and my custom samurai sword sheathed in its case laying on the ground.

I immediately grabbed my jacket and reached into the left inside pocket, and pulled out the pink and white bear hat. I stared at it for a moment. Wondering what was so important about it to Mia.

But my thoughts were short lived as I heard someone walking around downstairs. I shoved the hat back in the pocket and started pulling on my boots. As soon as they were on I threaded my belt through the belt loops of my jeans, and put one pistol in a holster. I pulled my jacket on and I picked the other gun up as I slung the sword over my shoulder.

As soon as I had the sword on I heard the footsteps walking up stairs that seemed to be right outside the door.

I got up and took a few steps back. I pointed my gun at the door, waiting for the person to come in.

The footsteps softened as they got closer to the door. I cocked the gun as the door slowly opened; it revealed someone I wasn't expecting: a young girl, around Cha-Cha's age. She had long chestnut brown hair, and had chocolate brown eyes. She was in sneakers, light blue jeans, and a dark green t-shirt.

As soon as she saw the gun pointed directly at her, she made a squeaking sound and ran out of the room and to the right.

I cursed, shoved the gun into its holster on my hip, and ran after her. Outside the door I looked to the left out of curiosity and saw a stairwell leading to the floor below. I looked over to where the girl had gone. There was a janitors' closet in front of me and a dark hallway to the right. I opened the door of the janitors' closet to find nothing but a few brooms and a mop.

I turned and hesitantly headed down the hallway. There was a light switch on the left wall. I flicked it up and down a few times. Nothing. I continued down the hallway, past stacked boxes of stuff, and wooden chests. The hallway ended in a long metal coat rack, with what appeared to be an old 18th century-type coffin sitting on top of it. I leaned forward to get a better look, when I heard a loud crash behind me.

I turned to see a large stack of cardboard boxes fall and the girl standing behind them with a shocked expression on her face. She turned and ran.

"Hey kid, wait!" I ran after her, jumping over the fallen boxes. She was a fast little bugger, but I was faster. I caught her arm just as she got to the stairs. I turned her around and grabbed a hold of her arms, "Hey, hey. Calm down!"

She struggled against my grip, frustrated she brought her foot down on the toe of my right boot. She stopped struggling and frowned when I didn't flinch. I laughed at her confused expression, "They're steal-toed boots, kid. That's not gonna hurt." I released my hold on her arms; she took a few steps back. She looked down at my boots; most likely contemplating kicking me in the shins.

I stared at her for a moment. "Where am I?"

"The City Hall of Merrill, Iowa." She said.

"Okay," I said softly. I frowned as a thought popped into my head, "Where's Cha-Cha?"

The girl smiled, "She's downstairs with the rest of the guys. Follow me."

I followed her down the stairs. At the bottom there was a door with a window that said 'LIBRARY' in big bold letters. I followed her inside.

The walls of the room were covered in floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, the floor was red carpet. In the middle of the room was three over-stuffed lazy-boy chairs, a huge ass couch, and the rest of the room was littered with beanbag chairs. There where three other people in the room. A girl and two guys.

But my eyes immediately went to Cha-Cha. She quickly got up and ran over to me, nearly tackling me and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"SAINT!" She yelled excitedly, "You're okay!"

I smiled, "Yeah, I'm fine. You okay?"

"Great!"

"Good," I muttered. If Cha-Cha had even a scratch her mom would kill me.

She pulled me a step closer to the people, "You have to meet these guys, Saint."

"That's Tallahassee," Cha-Cha pointed at an older guy sitting in one of the overstuffed chairs. He was in a black t-shirt, dirty jeans, cowboy boots and a cowboy hat. He was handsome, with blue eyes and a bit of blonde scruff on his jaw.

He gave me a nod.

"That's Columbus," she pointed at the other guy; he was sitting on the couch next to a girl. He had curly brown hair. He looked to be a college junior, maybe a senior.

_I would have been a college junior this year._ I thought o myself.

He also looked a bit nerdy to me, but a cute nerdy. He waved at me.

"That's Little Rock," she pointed to the girl from before.

"And that's her sister, Wichita." She pointed to the girl sitting next to Columbus. She looked as old as me and had long straight blackish-brown hair and brown eyes. She was in a red t-shirt, black jeans and black biker boots.

"Hi," Wichita smiled.

I looked at her for a moment before sudden realization hit me. I knew her. Her hair was longer, and a shade darker, but I could recognize her.

"Krista?" I said, shocked.

Wichita's eyes widened, "How the hell do you know my name?"

* * *

**OOOOOOOOH! CLIFFHANGER! **

**FINALLY CHAPTER THREE IS UP! Sorry for the wait….and the cliffhanger. **

**I hate cliffhangers. Especially ones like this. That is why there won't be many of endings like this. **

**So please review, and the next chapter will come faster **

…**just realized that the flashback/dream-thingamabob is also a cliffhanger**

**Random Note, there really is a coffin in the upstairs hallway at the city hall here. I've seen it. Still haven't found out of there is anybody in it though….**


	4. HIATUS

THIS STORY IS ON HIATUS!

BUT NOT FOR LONG, I PROMISE!

CUZ RIGHT NOW I AM SO BUSY WITH SCHOOL AND OTHER THINGS, I HAVE NO TIME TO ACTUALLY SIT DOWN AND WRITE.

THE ONLY TIMES I HAVE TO WRITE IS DURING THE FEW MINUTES I HAVE FOR FREE TIME IN SCHOOL.

I AM SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE!


End file.
